Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When gallery photos are deleted at the same time, why are Google photos also deleted?

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why don't people like Nickelback?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Are you happy with your life?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is the word for truth and its meaning in Koine Greek?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Where do high school kids get weed from?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why doesn’t the UK change their flag?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why do people love to live alone in a house?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

The Club World Cup is finally up and running — and soccer may never be the same - AP News

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”